MY INSOMNIA NIGHTMARE

I learned something very important a few weeks ago, something I should have known already: When you haven’t been getting much sleep, don’t try to do anything of a technical nature—like, say, operate machinery. Of any kind.

Every now and then, I go through short bouts of insomnia. When it happened again recently, it occurred on a Friday night and repeated the following night. So there I was, lying in bed on a Friday night (technically a Saturday morning) at 2:30 a.m., wide awake. I needed something to do to kill time, and I had no desire to watch the mostly obscure movies or the Z-list-celebrity-hosted infomercials usually airing on TV well after midnight and long before dawn.

Then it hit me—this would be the perfect time to work on that fun project I had kicking around in the back of my head for a little while. It had occurred to me that April 2010 marked the 40^th anniversary of Paul McCartney embarking on his solo career—and that he’s never put together a CD box set that encompassed all of his solo material from 1970 to the present day.

Paul McCartney, 1970.

And by box set, I mean a full career retrospective—complete with alternate versions of the hits, live performances, unreleased songs, and demo recordings. (The Beach Boys and the Who put out such box sets in the early 1990s, and they are FANTASTIC.)

Given my vast collection of McCartney material, stuff that was commercially released and other recordings that I’ve, shall we say, “stumbled upon” over the years (bless you, Internet!), I realized that I could put together a complete, professional-sounding McCartney box set for my own listening pleasure. It would encompass 8 CDs, with disc #8 serving as a “bonus” CD featuring all of the demos, alternate versions, and unreleased material.

So I got out of bed, sat down at my computer, and began creating the CDs. By 5 a.m., I had finished four of them and was finally feeling that I could go to sleep. I figured I would finish the project the following weekend, if time permitted.

I woke up later that morning at 8 a.m., and managed to get through the day on only three hours of sleep. And when I went to bed that Saturday night, I found myself once again lying in bed with my eyes wide open at 3 a.m.

I reasoned that I might as well finish the McCartney project. So I returned to my computer and started burning the remaining CDs. At around 4:30 a.m., I was working on the last disc. In my disc player drive, I had my CD of McCartney’s 1975 Wings album, Venus and Mars. In the burner drive was a recordable CD. The Venus and Mars CD was a first printing, released in 1987 and considered to be the best-sounding version of the album, superior even to the remastered edition released in 1993. And I’d kept my copy of the CD in great shape—pretty much in the same condition it was in the day I bought it at the late, lamented Tower Records in downtown Manhattan.

CD first printing, 1987.

As the last disc was nearing completion, I felt my eyes getting heavy, and I was yawning more and more frequently. Great—I could finally get to sleep. But then, a window popped up on my computer screen, informing me that there was an error and the recordable CD had been rendered useless. I was PISSED. All I wanted was to finish this project and go to bed with a sense of having accomplished something—even something as trivial as a Paul McCartney CD box set that no one but me would ever listen to. And there I was, so close to being done, and my damned computer was now prolonging the process and delaying me from hitting the sack. I’d have to do the last disc all over again.

Could I have waited till later, and created the last disc in a more rested state, with my brain more fully functional? Sure. But I was SO CLOSE to being done, and I just wanted to get it over with. And I doubted that I would be able to get to sleep knowing that I left the project incomplete. So I decided to forge ahead. Without looking down, I hit the “eject” button on one of the disc drives, took out the disc, and crushed it in my hands. After all, I was never going to use it, right? Plus, I was pissed and aggravated and had some aggression to work out. For a brief moment, I felt satisfaction.

Then I looked down. And this is what I held in my hands:

Oh, sh%#.

Yes, I hit the wrong disc drive.

My jaw dropped. My eyes bulged. I stifled an anguished, Charlie Brown-style “AAAAAUUUUGHHHH!”

Then, I simply lowered my head in defeat and self-loathing.

WHEN YOU HAVEN’T BEEN GETTING MUCH SLEEP, DON’T TRY TO DO ANYTHING OF A TECHNICAL NATURE.

So… the aftermath? Well, after about a month, LOTS of searching, and a couple of mishaps that I won't get into here, I found a used copy of the 1987 first printing of the Venus and Mars CD at Amazon.com Marketplace, being sold by an independent e-seller. I took a chance and ordered it. Fortunately, the CD was exactly as the seller described: in excellent condition. In fact, I’d say it was more or less in the same condition as the CD that I had destroyed in a haze of exhaustion and stupidity. And it was reasonably priced, considering how rare the first printing is these days.

The replacement copy--yaaaaayyy!

So yeah, I lucked out this time.

By the way, I finished the McCartney box set—and it came out pretty darned great, if I do say so myself.

Okay, going to bed now. But I’ll tell you this—if I can’t get to sleep, I’m staying the hell away from my computer.

REUNITING THE BEATLES (ON CD)

Anyone who knows me well is aware of my great love for the Beatles. I first became a fan of theirs in 1977 at the age of 7, when my sister bought for me a copy of the then-new LP The Beatles At The Hollywood Bowl.

Upon listening to that album for the first time, I was hooked for life. Needless to say, my Beatles collection has expanded by leaps and bounds since then. As an old college roommate once said about me, “Hell, he’s got stuff by the Beatles that even the Beatles don’t know about!”

The Beatles, 1969.

I’ve found over the years that whenever a child becomes interested in the Beatles and their music, he or she will eventually ask this inevitable question: Why did they break up? My daughter is the most recent example I’ve seen of this. And 33 years ago, I was no different. As a child absorbing the music of—and the story behind—the band, I simply couldn’t understand how these four young men, who had done such wonderful work together and seemed like such great friends for so long, could so thoroughly turn against each other and walk away from a partnership that was phenomenally successful and beloved all around the world.

The happy campers working together harmoniously. Or not.

Like millions of other people in the late 1970s, I hoped and dreamed that the group would eventually reunite. I became giddy whenever rumors about a Beatles reunion circulated, and I was crushed whenever these rumors were inevitably debunked. Of course, all talk about a Beatles reunion ended definitively on December 8, 1980, with the senseless murder of John Lennon by a crazed fan.

And yet, even in the years following that tragedy, I couldn’t help but wonder—what would the Beatles have sounded like had they gotten back together? Eventually, this question evolved into, “What would the Beatles have sounded like had they not broken up in the first place?” And for that particular question, I came up with what I believe is a fairly accurate answer.

Y'see, about 24 years ago, I learned that a number of songs that appeared on the earliest solo Beatle albums had actually been written before the breakup, and that many of these songs were actually worked on by the group during the Get Back (aka Let It Be) sessions. In fact, most of the songs on George Harrison's All Things Must Pass album were written while he was a Beatle—some of the songs date back as far as 1966.

After extensive research, I was able to select the appropriate songs and put them together for a collection that I felt was a fair approximation of what the next Beatles album would have sounded like, had they stayed together beyond September 1969. This album, in the alternate reality I envisioned, would have been recorded sometime after the May 1970 release of the Let It Be album, and released at some point in 1971.

I originally titled the collection Odds and Ends, because at the time that most of the songs were written, the Beatles were at odds with each other and they were coming to an end. (I’ve since retitled the collection Apple Scruffs, as it references both the Beatles’ record label, Apple, and the fans who would stand outside its headquarters day and night hoping to get a glimpse of one of the Fab Four.)

Here's the lineup (click on the titles to hear the songs):

01 Mother (John)

Paul McCartney might have balked at including this very personal song from John, but I could see Lennon insisting upon its inclusion, as he did with “Revolution 9” on The White Album.

02 Maybe I'm Amazed (Paul)

Possibly written after the breakup, but this is definitely something that would have fit perfectly on a Beatles album. Linda was the sole source of inspiration, so it's highly conceivable that Paul would have written and recorded this song as a Beatle, had they stayed together.

03 What Is Life (George)

It's on All Things Must Pass, and most of the songs predate the breakup, so it's fair to include it here. Plus, it's one of George's best songs and John and Paul would have been crazy to exclude it.

04 It Don't Come Easy (Ringo)

Possibly written after the breakup, but you have to include at least one Ringo Starr song, right? And if you're going to include one, this is the one to include! (Ever hear the version with George on lead vocals?)

05 Jealous Guy (John)

Originally written in 1968 as "Child of Nature," but John eventually rewrote all of the lyrics.

06 Every Night (Paul)

Paul can be heard working on this song at the piano on bootlegs of the sessions for Let It Be.

07 My Sweet Lord (George)

It's on All Things Must Pass, and most of the songs on that album predate the breakup, so it's fair to include it here. Though it's conceivable that John and/or Paul would have noticed its similarities to “He's So Fine,” and thus rejected it or insisted that major changes be made. Still, it's one of George's signature songs so I couldn't NOT include it!

08 Junk (Paul)

Definitely written before the breakup and an early version was recorded for The White Album.

09 Oh My Love (John)

This was written—and demoed, I believe—in 1968.

10 Hot as Sun/Glasses (Paul)

I believe this was the first instrumental piece that Paul ever wrote, back when he was around 14. It was resurrected during the Let It Be sessions.

11 Another Day (Paul)

Paul can be heard working on this song on bootlegs of the Let It Be sessions.

12 Apple Scruffs (George)

It's on All Things Must Pass, and most of the songs on that album predate the breakup, so it's fair to include it here.

13 Give Me Some Truth (John)

The Beatles can be heard working on this song on bootlegs of the Let It Be sessions. John later rewrote most of the lyrics when he recorded it proper for the Imagine album.

14 Art of Dying (George)

Written in 1966.

15 Early 1970 (Ringo)

If this were a real Beatles album with an 18-song lineup, it seems likely that Ringo would be allowed two songs. While the lyrics subtly touch upon the very real internal strife within the band at that time, it's a fun little ditty and I could see the other Beatles allowing it to be included had they stayed together—which would NOT be the case for songs like John’s “God” and “How Do You Sleep?” and Paul’s “Too Many People,” all of which are far too caustic, bitter, and/or angry to have appeared on Beatles albums.

16 Teddy Boy (Paul)

This was originally supposed to be on The White Album, and then it was supposed to be on Let It Be.

17 Love (John)

Possibly written after the breakup, but this definitely would have fit perfectly on a Beatles album. And it's highly conceivable that John would have written and recorded this song as a Beatle, had they stayed together.

18 All Things Must Pass (George)

Recorded extensively by the Beatles during the Let It Be sessions, in many different takes and variations. Judging from the bootlegs, Paul was clearly interested in the song, and was more than willing to work with George to perfect it. John, on the other hand, seemed to find the song boring and not really worthy of his time and attention. (Not only does Paul do a majestic version of “All Things Must Pass” on the Concert For George DVD and CD, he also continued to perform it in 2004, during his European tour.)

*************

And that, I thought, was that. Once I was done with this compilation, and for the 20 years that followed, I tried to put together a follow-up, but could never complete it. First and foremost, I'd already used up the bulk of the songs that had their origins in the "Beatles era" on the first collection—so I didn't feel there was enough material left to do another full-length compilation that would be accurate, in terms of what probably would have become Beatles songs had the band stayed together.

While there was still plenty of material to take from the All Things Must Pass album, I didn't want to make the second compilation too "George heavy," as George's stuff would never have been allowed to dominate an entire Beatles album. And I just didn't think that there were enough John and Paul songs left to work with.

But finally, not long ago, I decided to loosen up my rules a little bit. Instead of considering only what WOULD have probably ended up on a Beatles album, I decided to consider would COULD have been on a Beatles album. This meant I would consider songs that, even if they were definitely written after the breakup, had that certain Beatles quality to them, and you could imagine them being recorded and performed by the group.

Once I loosened up the rules, I was able to put together a second compilation. While it's far more speculative than the first one, I think it's a good lineup that shows where the individual Beatles were at that point in time, and where they were headed.

Appropriately enough, I titled this second compilation Imagine The Beatles. In my alternate reality, this would have come out in late 1971 or early 1972.

01 Imagine (John)

It's a safe bet that this would have been on a Beatles album had they stayed together. Paul has expressed having liked this song.

02 Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey (Paul)

This seems very much in keeping with the kind of productions that Paul had done on Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and especially side two of Abbey Road, with the kind of whimsical lyrics he'd written for songs like “Yellow Submarine.”

03 Let It Down (George)

Recorded with the Beatles during the Let It Be sessions.

04 Back Off Boogaloo (Ringo)

Gotta get at least one Ringo song in there, and this is of the correct vintage.

05 How? (John)

Probably written after the breakup, but it's a fairly commercial sounding song from John that would fit in well on a Beatles album.

06 Eat At Home (Paul)

Just a fun sounding McCartney song of the correct vintage.

07 Wah-Wah (George)

Written before the final breakup, apparently during the week or so in January 1969 that George had split from the group during the Let It Be sessions.

08 Look At Me (John)

Written before the breakup.

09 That Would Be Something (Paul)

This may (or may not) have been written before the breakup. Personally, I think it's one of the lesser songs from the McCartney album, but George Harrison said he thought it was "great" when the album first came out in 1970.

10 Hear Me Lord (George)

Performed with the Beatles during the Let It Be sessions.

11 Crippled Inside (John)

Has its origins in the Let It Be sessions, with different lyrics.

12 Heart Of The Country (Paul)

Another nice little McCartney ditty of the correct vintage, that also serves as a nice follow up to the countrified “Crippled Inside.”

13 Isn't It A Pity (George)

Written in 1966 and performed with the Beatles during the Let It Be sessions.

14 The Back Seat Of My Car (Paul)

Paul can be heard working on this song at the piano on bootlegs of the Let It Be sessions. Apparently, when he played it for the other Beatles, they said that they liked its Beach Boys/Brian Wilson flavor. But they never got around to working on it extensively.

******************

And there you have it—what I believe are fairly good approximations of what the next couple of Beatles albums would have sounded like. And my verdict is that they would have sounded pretty darned good! Certainly heartfelt, occasionally humorous, sometimes very personal, and, overall, very eclectic.

I think it's safe to say that I won't be doing a third compilation. I just can't conceive of the songs that followed this period ever appearing on Beatles albums.

After this period, the four ex-Beatles went in VERY different directions.

Right near the breaking point.

John moved to New York City and his songs got caught up in radical politics, controversy, and even more silliness with Yoko. Some Time In New York City could only have ever been a John Lennon solo album. And John stopped recording altogether after 1975.

Paul formed Wings and his music became influenced by people, places, and things that he probably would never have encountered had he stayed in the Beatles. (It's reasonable to assume that he would not have gone off to Africa—a trip that was instrumental in the recording of the Band On The Run album. Would he have met Dustin Hoffman, who served as the inspiration for the song “Picasso's Last Words”? And presumably there would have been no Helen Wheels to write about!)

And George's music became more and more spiritual and personal, which wouldn't have fit well within the context of the group.

So that's my take on things. Any thoughts, opinions, comments, disagreements, etc., from Beatles scholars and casual fans alike, are more than welcome!

LOST AND 24: THE MOURNING AFTER

WARNING: There be spoilers here!!!!!!! If you have not yet seen the series finales for these two shows and you care about what happened in them, read this only AFTER you’ve watched them!

Within the space of 23 hours, two of my favorite television shows of all time began their big finale episodes, and I feel like I’ve said final goodbyes to some very close friends—ones with whom I’ve had up-and-down relationships over the years, but there have been more than enough “ups” that it hurts a lot to say farewell.

In the case of Lost, it’s been an adventure that was at times exhilarating, frustrating, beautiful, and challenging on both an emotional and an intellectual level. While 24 shared some of these traits, there was more of an emphasis on action, morality, shades of grey, and the heavy price that sometimes must be paid to keep a nation safe. Two different shows, with different tones and different styles, yet both were fixtures in my home since their respective debuts. Were their send-offs as satisfying as their kick-offs? Read on…

LOST

Last castaways standing.

Throughout its six seasons, Lost never really let me down. Overall, I feel that the series maintained its standards and its level of quality throughout its entire run. Even its weakest season (the second one, in my opinion) represented a chunk of great television.

And I have to mention that the acting has been consistently exceptional, pretty much across the board. As Dr. Jack Shephard, the Emmy-worthy Matthew Fox served more than capably as the foundation of the entire series, grabbing on to us and pulling us in immediately at the start of the pilot episode, and leaving us behind in the very last moment of the finale. Terry O’Quinn did stellar work as both John Locke and his sinister doppelganger. Michael Emerson was absolutely brilliant as Benjamin Linus, taking what was supposed to be a three-episode arc in Season Two and turning it into an ongoing character that stuck around to the very end. As Kate Austen, Evangeline Lilly emerged, particularly in Season Five, as an actress with great talent, handling deeply emotional material with expertise. Josh Holloway brought plenty of arrogance, swagger, cunning, and wit over the six seasons as the Han Solo-like Sawyer. Jorge Garcia, as Hurley, was often hilarious but also the unimpeachable moral center of the series. Daniel Dae Kim’s Jin, so thoroughly unlikable at the beginning, was revealed over time to be quite noble, heroic, and a loving husband. I liked Henry Ian Cusick’s Desmond Hume, Nestor Carbonell’s Richard Alpert, and Elizabeth Mitchell’s Juliet Burke right from their first appearances, and was very pleased when they each became series regulars. Hell, everyone was great. (Well, maybe not so much Michelle Rodriguez as Ana Lucia and Shelia Kelly as Zoe—which made watching them being taken out that much more enjoyable. But I bore no real grudge against Nikki and Paolo.)

Take a bow, Mr. Fox, for a job well done.

So… The finale. On an emotional level, it packed a wallop, and did the job it set out to do. And here I thought Sun and Jin’s death scene from a few weeks ago was as powerful as the show could get! There were plenty of moments in “The End” that delighted me, that hit me hard, and that affected me deeply: the surprise appearance by Rose and Bernard, and the revelation that it was they who rescued Desmond; the return of Frank Lapidus; Richard discovering a gray hair; the encounter between Sawyer and Juliet; the final words spoken between Jack and Kate and their last kiss; Hurley’s last moments with Jack; Hurley and Ben forging a new relationship; Jack’s return to where it all began for him on the island; the big reunion in the cathedral of all of the main cast members over the years; and the last shot of Jack, who has always been my favorite character on the show. Maybe I shouldn’t admit that tears were rolling down my cheeks as the screen went dark, but I will admit it nonetheless.

Ending where it all began.

And yet, on an intellectual level, and from a story standpoint, I have mixed feelings. Don’t get me wrong—the episode was never anything less than absolutely gripping and compelling, as the series usually was. And I would say that, overall, it felt like an organic part of the series, an episode that honored and was faithful to almost everything that came before it. But it certainly wasn’t perfect. (What is?)

I didn’t have the same problems with this episode that a lot of other people seemed to have. It didn’t bother me at all that we never learned the name of the Man In Black. I understood that the scenes on the island were set in the real world, and I understood the revelation about the Sideways World. Most, if not all, of my main questions were answered. But I did have problems. Among them:

• The death of the Man In Black/Smoke Monster just didn’t seem… momentous enough to me, given his importance to the show since last season. And I felt his physical clashes with Jack in the finale were a bit repetitive, essentially having the same beat: Jack gets the upper hand and grabs MIB by the throat, then MIB grabs something (first a rock, later his knife) and uses it against Jack.
• Why, once Jack restored the Light to the island, did the island not heal Jack of his stab wound? In the past, the island healed John Locke twice—first of his paralysis and then of a gunshot wound—and it cured Rose of her cancer. Why not Jack, after everything he went through to protect it? Why did Jack have to die?
• Why is Sayid reunited with Shannon at the end? Why not Nadia, who had always been presented as his one true love?
• The revelation that the Sideways World isn’t really a parallel universe but a place where all of the castaways can reunite after they die and then move on together… well, quite frankly, it broke my heart. I invested a lot of emotion in, and became attached to, the Sideways World. I believed in it and looked forward to seeing its developments and I was hoping that it would play some part in the downfall of the Man in Black and perhaps even offer some form of salvation or hope for at least some of the characters. But no, my understanding of the narrative is that all of the Flash-Sideways sequences were really just there to show how and when each of the characters realizes the truth and decides that he/she is ready to “let go” and “move on.” It was not a real environment created within a scientific context. When I realized what the Sideways World really was, I muttered, “Oh no,” and was tempted to yell “Cop-out!” I felt that the rug was pulled out from under me. Which, I suppose, is exactly what the writers wanted—but I don’t think they really played fair. They started off this year’s season premiere by showing the island at the bottom of the sea—how else was that supposed to be taken, other than literally? And I’m not even sure all the details established in the Sideways World work with the revelation of what it truly is. What exactly was Eloise Widmore protecting or preventing when she tried to stop Desmond’s activities in the Sideways World?
• On a related note, I’m guessing that Desmond was the one to bring all of the characters together in the Sideways World because, as a result of his near-death experience on Hydra Island (when Charles Widmore blasted him with EM energy), he could now cross between this world and the afterlife. BUT—why didn’t Desmond or Jack suffer a fate “worse than death,” like the Man In Black did, when they went into the Light cave? Isn’t that what Jacob and MIB’s adoptive mother said would happen to anyone who went in? I guess I can buy the premise that Desmond was spared because of his immunity to the energy, but what about Jack?

And yet… the episode still lingers heavily in my mind and my emotions. The gentle, loving embrace between Jack and his father in that moment of revelation, when they could finally and openly acknowledge their love for each other and reach a degree of understanding that had always eluded them before. And to have a special place to go to beyond this life, a place of peace and comfort and love, where you can be reunited with the people who meant the most to you, who were there with you during the most important part of your life… that’s such a wonderful, beautiful thought, and a very moving way to bring Lost to an end. I don’t know how much I truly believe that such a place actually lies ahead… but I’d like to.

Together again for the last time.

Letting go... and moving on.

*************************

24

A (last) day in the life.

As a series, 24 has been much more inconsistent than Lost. A pattern emerged, in which every great season (1, 5, 7) was almost always followed by a disappointing one—with this current season, the eighth and last, qualifying as the worst of all.

And the blame can be placed squarely on the writers. This year, they stretched out the Dana Walsh subplot past the point of human toleraence, all the while saying that the audience had to “give it time” and insisting that we would be rewarded handsomely for our patience. What we got was yet another “CTU mole” storyline, but one that was far more convoluted, implausible, and downright silly than any of its predecessors. What a waste of actress Katee Sackhoff, who was exceptional as Starbuck in the remake of Battlestar Galactica. She managed to shine as Dana in her last couple of 24 episodes, but it was a case of too little, too late. The damage was already done.

The writers threw the audience a bone by bringing back actress Annie Wersching as Renee Walker, who was one of the main highlights of last season and ranks as one of the most popular characters in the show’s history. But then they raped her, both literally and figuratively, presenting her as a mere shadow of the character we knew last year. Having grafted on a dark, tormented backstory that was never before even hinted at and rendering her a self-loathing, suicidal, and rage-filled victim, Renee was almost a complete stranger this year, and was simply not the character that the audience hoped to see again. Killing her off was nothing more than a plot device, a shock moment, and it rendered her a victim all over again. (She could have easily been left in critical condition with just a slim chance of survival, and the rest of the season could have played out exactly the same.)

Talk about the kiss of death!

Instead of trying to avoid clichés, the writers and producers of 24 seemed determined to use as many as possible, as often as possible—clichés both in terms of storytelling in general and of the show itself. (Yet another mole? Yet another romance for Jack Bauer ends in tragedy? Yet again, Jack is the only competent person in a crisis situation? After Jack has proven himself over and over again, the people in authority still refuse to listen to anything he says or take his experience into account?) And then, when the audience calls them on it, they simply shrug their shoulders and say, “That’s the show.” Shouldn’t the goal be to explore new ideas and directions, to improve upon what was done already? Why, in this day and age, when television is more creative and innovative than ever before, would any self-respecting writer or producer of a drama series simply embrace the formulaic?

At least things improved toward the end. Which brings us to the finale, which was fronted by a very classy farewell message from star Kiefer Sutherland, who thanked the audience for sticking with the show for the past eight years.

As an episode of 24, the finale worked well enough. There was plenty of action and conflict and tense moments, and, at the end, a nice sense of closure to the relationship between Jack Bauer and his longtime colleague Chloe O’Brian, played so effectively over the years by Mary Lynn Rajskub.

Chloe O'Brian: The only constant in Jack Bauer's life.

And I have to give the producers credit for having the balls to take the hero of their show and turn him into a vicious, ruthless, bloodthirsty, vengeance-crazed killing machine, even for just a little while. As the now out-of-control, off-the-rails, damn-the-consequences Jack Bauer, Sutherland delivered the goods—just as he always has. Hell, if Keifer is willing to dye his hair black, I say cast him as the Punisher and really turn him loose!

Gregory Itzin, who made an indelible mark on the series during Season Five as the insidious U.S. President Charles Logan (made Nixon look like a choir boy!), returned this year and was responsible for some of this season’s best, most talked-about moments. I didn’t find his rather abrupt murder/suicide solution to be 100% convincing—it was a little too contrived and felt like run-of-the-mill TV plotting to me—but it was certainly a dramatic exit for a memorable character.

He's not a crook, but he is a murderer!

But when it comes to current U.S. President Alison Taylor, introduced last season and played by Cherry Jones, well… I don’t know what the writers were thinking. Last year, Taylor was portrayed as so clear-headedly moral and righteous that she sent her own daughter to prison after learning of the girl’s crimes. This year, she was so focused on getting a peace treaty signed with a Middle Eastern country, no matter the cost, that she helped cover up the assassination of the leader of that Middle Eastern country, used her position to intimidate the press and confiscate incriminating evidence, and started taking advice from her infamous and disgraced predecessor, the aforementioned Charles Logan. This season, Taylor was portrayed as a weak-willed, wishy-washy, simpering fool who doesn’t trust herself or her conscience, and always seems to be on the verge of tears. It isn’t until the last few minutes of the finale, when she realizes that maybe it was wrong for her to authorize the cold-blooded murder of a man who has saved the U.S. at least seven times—and who tried desperately to warn her that she was heading down the wrong path—that Taylor rediscovers her morality and tries to do the right thing. In terms of salvaging her as a character and making the audience feel at least some kind of sympathy for her, I once again use the phrase, “too little, too late.” Which is also a perfect way to describe this entire season.

And yet… I’m going to miss 24. When it’s firing on all cylinders, it’s one of the best shows on television. That’s undoubtedly why I’m so critical of it when it fails to live up to its own standards. But unlike Jack Shepard, we may well see Jack Bauer again in the near future—plans are afoot for 24 to make the leap to the big screen. I just hope it doesn’t bring any of this season’s writers along with it.